


I'm not leaving.

by Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts



Series: Confused Thoughts and Healing [2]
Category: Captain America : Sam Wilson, MCU, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Comics
Genre: Bruce is not that kind of doctor, Endgame compliant, F/M, Inspired by the song 'It takes two' from Into the Woods, M/M, No Beta, bruce is soft, everybody needs a hug, no beta we die like men, post Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:33:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21956692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts/pseuds/Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts
Summary: Steve returns from the past. Peter reaches out after laying low for a while. Everybody's broken. But Bruce has a way to smoothen sharp jagged edges to reconstruct pieces of the same puzzle.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Peter Parker, Bruce Banner & Sam Wilson, Bruce Banner & Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts & Bruce Banner, Sam Wilson & Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes
Series: Confused Thoughts and Healing [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1580689
Kudos: 12





	I'm not leaving.

_It takes care_

_It takes patience and fear and despair_

_To change_

_Though you swear_

_To change_

_Who can tell if you do_

"I always knew you'd come back. Eventually." The scientist said, sliding a beer toward a frowning Steve. Well, more so pouting, really. But there was something childish about the word that didn't quite fit with the situation.

Steve sighed softly, wrapping his arm around the neck of the bottle. "You're the only one who's willing to speak to me. Everyone's just... Avoiding me." He spoke bitterly, before bringing the drink to his lips.

"It's because I'm the only one who doesn't feel like he's ever lost you." Bruce lowered his gaze, letting out a soft chuckle.

"What does that mean?" Steve asked, putting the bottle back on the table as he observed the over man.

Bruce was standing, leaning against a sink, arms crossed over his chest but expression infinitely patient and fond. He shrugged. "I always knew you'd come back." He replied, not like an admission but like a simple fact. No shame. Just earnest words. "I didn't mourn you. And I, well, I haven't loved you like they did."

Steve flushed. "Who's they?" He asked.

The scientist's lips curled up as he let out a breathy chuckle. "Your everyone."

At the words Steve flushed harder, more surprised than ashamed about having been made. "I came back because I needed them. I needed my best friends." He blinked, eyes growing glossy. "I lost one. And I thought running away would ease the guilt. But it's still there. And I need another battle to keep me going, to keep me afloat. I can't live in a world where I'm supposed to be a poster boy for tomorrow's hero when I could be today's savior." He let out a pained breath. "Sam doesn't want to listen yet. And I've told Bucky but... He still won't speak to me."

"I'll get him to." Bruce patiently relied, putting a hand on Steve's shoulder and giving it a light squeeze.

The blond looked up, a sort of wild hope in his gaze. "How?"

Bruce lightly tilted his head to the side, looking down at the young man who felt out of place wherever he went. Indulging him like a parent would a child, he simply asked : "Does it matter?"

No. It didn't. It truly didn't to Steve as long as he got to hear his best friend use words again.

_It's no fun_

_But what needs to be done_

_You can do_

_When there's two of you_

"Bruce thinks I won't talk to you because I'm still in love with you." That's the conversation opener Steve was met with as Bucky entered the training room of the Avengers compound.

The blond's fist slammed through the punching bag, surprise making him momentarily loose control of his strength. He slowly turned his head, eyes searching for his best friend's. "Still?" He inquired, eyes wide with surprise. The defying gaze he was met with was no short of unnerving.

"Yes, you idiot. I a— was, I was in love with you." He replied. "You had no idea what it did to my heart to know that the person I was supposed to go home to was standing right next to me on the battlefield and could be lost any second." Bucky went on, brows furrowing with a bitter sort of anger. "So I fought twice as hard to make sure you would remain alive. I didn't want to have to deal with loosing you. But you went away. You..." He let out a long sigh, eyes watering. "You walked away." He blinked. "What happened to being with me 'till the end of the line? Where's the end of the line for me? I'm stuck in a marathon at a race pace and I don't see no finish line, Steve. For so long I only saw darkness because the little light I had, was gone."

Ashamed, Steve looked down, unable to sustain the heated, intense gaze of the sergeant. "I know what that feels like. Believe me. That's how I felt when Tony died."

"So you decided to inflict it on someone else?" Bucky asked, fists clenching by his side but voice oddly cold and patient. He wasn't reigning himself in. This was sheer fury. The kind so potent that you won't let it strike, fearing the consequences.

"I didn't knew..." Steve weakly argued.

"I'm sorry I didn't issue you a memo saying 'by the way, if you go back to the past, I'll be devastated'. Sam and I would have sent a letter to let you know, but we can't mail anything in the fucking past!"

"Sam and I?" Steve chose to focus on.

"Yes. Sam and I. You broke his heart too. And it's not a piece of metal that could be museum heirloom that would fix that." Bucky replied, brows furrowing. "You did one thing well though. Sam might quite possibly be the best Captain America there ever were." He added, narrowing his eyes as he examined Steve's face, searching for any indication that the remark stung.

But the blond just smiled for a second, proud and easy. He looked exhausted, Bucky noticed. Tired and broken. But genuinely proud. "I knew he'd do good. I knew the both of you, would do good. I was the one who needed you two. Not the other way around. I still do. That's why I'm here."

"Stop it." Bucky interrupted. "Bruce Banner and James Rhodes lost their best friend too. Neither hid or abandoned the team. And he was their only, best friend. You had two others Steve, two. And we weren't enough. Somehow. I don't want to hear apologies or explanations. I don't want words. Don't bother with those. Not with me. Sam though. Grovel. Grovel until he will speak to you. He's a better man that either you or I could ever be. If he lets you in again, don't walk out. He's settling for you, not the other way around. Don't make him regret being a good person. The world need those." With that, the dark haired man spun on his heels, heading towards the door, not glancing back once despite Steve's silent pleas.

_We've changed_

_We're strangers_

_I'm meeting you in the woods_

Steve did grovel. Bruce heard all about it, because for some reason now, everyone would confide in him. Whether it was Rhodey about Tony or his almost something with Carol Danvers, or Bucky about seriously considering to cut his hair, or even Pepper with parenting advice, which, he still found mind boggling, for some reason, Bruce was their confident. And no matter how many times he'd say 'I'm not that kind of doctor', at the end of the day, he was pleased to hear that people were recovering a little, in their own personal ways. And being included in the process, dulled some of his own pain.

"I don't want to talk to him." Sam said, before dipping a fry into Bruce's vanilla milkshake. Apparently they lived in a communist system because Bruce's food, was everybody at the tower's food. Sam though, it was entirely another story. Because Sam would eat all of the food in his own plate and still end up stealing from Bruce for some reason. "Don't give me that disapproving dad look." The soldier said before heaving a frustrated sigh. "Okay, yes, maybe I want to talk to him. But I'm so angry still. Who does that? Who just hands over everything they stood for before taking away? Steve asked me to carry the world on my shoulder and wouldn't even be there to bear the brunt of it with me."

"You had Bucky." Bruce replied.

"Yeah... I guess. But still. Bucky's not my best friend. Well, wasn't. Now he's probably up there with you, on good days." Sam earnestly replied, playing with the straw of a milkshake that absolutely wasn't the strawberry one he'd ordered and downed.

Bruce let out a fond sigh. "Then tell him all that. Just think of how good it could feel just to yell at him for a little while. We both know Steve would take that over silence from you. Feeling so estranged from the people he came back for, is killing him."

"How do you not resent him?" Sam asked, frowning.

Bruce shrugged. "I always knew he'd eventually come back. He just needed a reminder that the grass isn't greener elsewhere. When you carry your heartbreak with you wherever you go, there is no gentler reality to find. But he tried. And I think that's okay. Don't we all want to rest a little? To be happier?"

"God. I hate when you sound rational and forgiving. Because I wanna listen. And be as good as you are. Damn you for being inspiring."

Bruce chuckled as Sam took ahold of his milkshake, or more so the milkshake he'd ordered but not touched and just watched the other leisurely sip on it. "Of course Sam, you may help yourself. What's mine is yours." The ex-soldier grinned broadly and went back to drinking Bruce's milkshake. "You'll talk to him right?" Sam sighed heavily but nodded. "Good."

_Who minds_

_What dangers_

_I know we'll get past the woods_

Peter reached out to him. Peter Parker, finally, asked for help. Bruce swore he wouldn't cry. But holding the broken, sobbing kid in his arms, well, it shoved his plans out of the windows. "God." He heard the teen choke out. "I don't know what's happening to me, Dr Banner." He admitted, clutching onto the back of Bruce's yellow button up. "I'm tired to belong the world." And what a statement that was. Because Peter was a Shield asset now, was he not? Done with the neighborhood Spiderman, done with the mask who hid his fears as well as protected his hopes and dreams. Now for the world, Spiderman was Peter Parker, and nobody was really sure about what to make out of that.

Bruce heaved a long sigh. "Gosh." He breathed out. "Just..." He swallowed thickly before pulling away. "I need you to do something for me, Peter. I need you to rest." He spoke, as kindly as possible while he was mentally plotting to throttle Nick Fury. The kid looked at him, all wide eyes with confusion and hope. The dark and bitter kind of hope. "I need you to just lay down and sleep. Yeah? Can you do that?" He asked, leading the younger male towards the elevator of the Avengers Compound. Pressing his palm to a scanner, it unlocked a panel to the private quarters of the Avengers tower. "Let's go to my place. I promise no one will bother you up there. Nobody goes there, really." He spoke, keeping a grounding hand on the teen's shoulder. Peter just silently nodded, gaze getting lost in the distance as soon as it shifted away from Bruce's face. It pained the scientist to see it from outside, that hollow feeling that leaves someone to believe that they're a failure.

The doors opened to reveal a rather sparsely decorated space. Bruce led Peter through what seemed to be a living room toward a black mahogany door. He pushed it open, revealing an empty room, except for a large mattress on dark wooden slats and an open suitcase. Always packed. Always ready to leave. No matter how much Bruce pretended to belong right where he was. "Just..." He sighed softly. "Please, just lay down for a minute. You can even keep your shoes on if you'd like, yeah?" Peter silently nodded, feeling rather invasive in the clean space, with his broken nose and bruised lips. Slowly, he unbuttoned the flannel he'd been wearing for weeks and slid it off his shoulders, revealing a torn suit underneath. And yeah, the need to throttle some Shields operatives came back full force. But Bruce offered a patient kind look, watching Peter tentatively sit on the low bed to undo the lace of his shoes.

"You're not going to leave me?" Peter asked, brows furrowed, and lips remaining slightly parted as the words hung in the air.

"Do you want me to?" Bruce asked, knowing the answer. He'd felt that way too. After going off grids, especially for the first time, human contact feels as necessary as breathing. Just for a little while. Just the time to reacclimatize oneself with the fact that there'd be people tomorrow still, who'd be there to exist with you. Not beside you. But ready to acknowledge you in their life.

The teen blushed, choosing to shake his head. And really, what else was the middle aged scientist supposed to? He sighed softly, lips curling up and sat across from the teen, stretching his legs in front of him and leaning back on his hands. As casual as he could muster. As normal as the ordeal needed to appear to Peter. The younger male chuckled and allowed himself to fall backwards on the bed, heaving a soft sigh of relief at the sensation beneath him. "I haven't slept in a real bed in weeks." And Bruce had to bite his tongue not to angrily whisper 'I know.' Peter didn't really want to have a conversation, he just needed to be heard. "I'm not a monster right?" He inquired.

Bruce swallowed thickly. He really wasn't the best judge of human nature. So instead of offering the reply Peter was looking for, he settled for his truth : "Not all monsters do monstruous things."

The teen's eyes fell shut at the words, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. "Thank you." He rasped out, nonetheless. "God, all the spoilers on Stranger Things that must be on Tumblr by now..."

Bruce chuckled. "You can binge watch Netflix when you wake up."

"Oh." Peter said. "Cool." The word was breathed out as the teen drifted to sleep.

_And once we're past_

_Let's hope the changes last_

_Beyond woods_

"Thank you for agreeing to see me." Steve said, anxiously playing with the handle of his coffee mug. The shared quarters of the compound were empty, safe for Sam and him, sitting across from each other at the communal dinner table.

"Bruce said I should. Even if it's just to yell at your face."

Steve nodded. "Is Bruce like, what, the new head of the Avengers?"

Sam's jaw clenched. "Do you really want to talk about leadership position right now? You abandoned yours, I don't think you get a say in who gives the orders anymore."

Steve's face fell. "So... Seeing me was an order?"

Sam snorted. "Bruce doesn't give anybody orders." He replied. "You really don't know the man, do you?"

"I feel like I've known people but can't quite recognize them anymore." Steve earnestly replied before heaving a nostalgic sigh.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, well, same here for you buddy. Who is the man standing in front of me? And where did the one who fought beside me go?"

"Can't they be the same?" Steve inquired.

"No." The ex-para rescue paused. "At least not if either of them wants me to consider a friendship with the man who stands in front of me."

Steve sighed softly but nodded. "Then hi, my name's Steve and I'm from the past. Again." He chuckled, then blinked away any traces of sadness in his gaze to replace them by fond eyes and a courteous smile.

"What made you come to the future, Steve?" Sam asked.

Steve's lips curled up. "She'd moved on. Peggy. Who I thought was the love of my life, had moved on and told me to do the same as soon as we finished our promised dance. She said she didn't want to mourn me twice." He let out a breathy chuckle. "She's much smarter than I. And the more I spent time being her friend, the more I realized that... I had others. Have? Maybe?" He shot Sam an hopeful glance. "I had a family actually. And so did she. God, I tried to live in a memory to erase another. But..." He shook his head. "This wasn't for me. I'm a man out of his time, no matter what time period I'm in. But at least, here, now, I had people who wanted to belong with me and help me figure it all out. Starting by Marvin Gaye."

Sam's lips curled up for a second before he heaved a soft sigh. "I was planning to yell at you. But you're so miserable already that I'm just..." He sighed, and stood up, moving away from the table toward the kitchen. Steve sat still, holding his breath as he wondered what was gonna happen. What was next? Where did they go from there? Sam returned with a slice of cake and two forks. "It's Bucky's. Let's eat it before he returns and tell him it's Bruce." He said, grinning as he sat closer to Steve, keeping a seat between them.

Steve took the fork offered to him. "He really cares for Bruce, huh?"

"Actually Bucky annoys the hell out of Bruce." Sam replied, letting out a chuckle as if there was a joke there. Steve assumed he'd be let in on it eventually and sank his fork into the strawberry cake, hoping the sweetness would make the bitter taste in his mouth disappear.

_Beyond lies_

_Safe at home with our beautiful prize_

_Just the few of us_

_It takes trust_

When Peter woke up, May had an arm wrapped around him and Ned while playing Uno with Bruce and M.J. So Peter held back onto his aunt, smiling as small tears rolled down his cheeks. She smiled too, before pressing a kiss in his hair. "Next time you feel lost, please, just come home. I'll always larb you, I need you to know that." Peter choked a little, tightening his grip around the woman.

"Uno!" Ned chirpily declared.

"I'm so sorry kid, but I can't let you do that, I can't let you win." Bruce replied, before dumping a +4 on top of M.J's card."Red." The female smirked a little as Ned picked four more cards.

"Uno." She declared, putting a red 2 on the deck. Then topping it with a blue won. "I believe Dr Banner, that I hath won."

Bruce grinned. "I guess I do owe you your weight in liquid azote now."

She smiled. "It can be converted in jet trips to the tower."

Bruce laughed. "You can have both.". He replied, picking a card from the deck.

The game was cut short by Peter's voice saying : "I think I've been promised a Stranger Things Marathon."

The scientist stretched and stood up. "Chinese takeout are on their way." He smiled. "But I'm afraid you'll have to move from the bedroom to the living room. I don't own a tv but I do own a projector out there. I'll bring the takeout over when they arrive and if you need me, I'll be a few levels down."

"You're not staying?" Peter asked, frowning a little.

" **I'm not leaving.** " Bruce replied. "But your family's there."

**Author's Note:**

> I wonder if I should give Hulk and Banner room to exist. Do you think Hulk needs to make an appearance? Just Hulk for now, not the professor.


End file.
